Yeah, so remember how I was going to NOT write a single word on the book after Wounded because I know it needs time to gel and stuff in my head for a few months?
Screenshot of my desktop just now:
*cough*
I have this issue when a new book and new world is hounding me--as soon as I know the narrator's name, I Must Write It. I can't ignore it past that point.
And then there's a point when I don't want to work on something at all, but it's circling my brain again and again, and then suddenly I'm in the scene and I know how it starts...
Yeah, I couldn't not write the words. Total insanity over here--I'm blaming the six hours I spent formatting manuscripts for ebooking today.
I might give the first chapter a shot this weekend, and then I should be so burnt out that I can go onto something else. Incidentally, the song that popped on iTunes when I broke open the file and typed a couple of lines? Syrup and Honey by Duffy. I swear the "Baby, baby, baby, spend your time on...me" part was the MS calling to me.
Yes, I did it. Break out the alcohol, get the parade underway--the book is DED.
R.I.P. Wounded Date: August 23, 2010 Time of Death: 4:14 am EST Final Word Count, Draft One: 102 160 Mourned by: NO ONE
I could have finished earlier, but I took some time to do dishes, bake, etc. For a book I wanted to just die already, I savoured its final, gasping breaths...AND it just feels unnatural to me to end a book before midnight. I did that, once--finished a first draft in the afternoon. I didn't know what to do with myself for the rest of the night. My prime writing time is between 8pm and 3-4am, and I tend to finish a book after a final marathon sprint in the wee hours of the morning. This is a sequel to one I accidentally wrote in the winter; that book, Abandoned, died at around 7am (and no, I hadn't just woken up).
I don't often blog during WIP writing, and certainly not about the process...but I talked about it a bit this time, and figured I could mention a few observations. I guess it's like a memorial and it'll be fun to re-read a few months from now.Read more
Yesterday we had a vet emergency; my furbaby Sophie has seasonal allergies and scratches a lot. Well, I heard a yelp and found out her eye was sore. The vet squeezed us in and I was right--she has a scratched cornea.
So she got a shot of a painkiller and two ointments, and we have another appointment for next Friday to make sure it's okay. I now have to put ointments in her eyes a combined five times a day (three for one, two for another). Have you ever tried to shove something in the eye of a forty pound beagle cross on your own when she's both wise to you and has the upper torso strength of an adult male German Shepherd? Yeah, it's not fun or easy.
Meanwhile, I'm determined to kill the book once and for all this weekend because I'm officially out of clean clothes, bedding, and towels, and I won't be fit to see anyone with only smelly clothes. So: dead book, then laundry. And dishes. Because I can't keep living like a college student.
I'm at 91K words and I had only intended the book to be 75K, like the first. AND I have about four scenes left to write. I think the muse is pushing the word count up on me again (that bitch) by extending a couple of scenes past what I knew would happen. Le sigh.
I'm full into the stage known as "This Book Will Not Die." I got a taste of it around 65K, slogged through, and now at nearly 85K I just want the damn thing dead.
There's no other way to describe this part of the process. You're nearly at the finish line but not quite far enough to breathe with relief yet. It consumes every thought you have from the time you wake up after only five hours of sleep to when you go to bed a few hours after the point when you're exhausted. Eating is a chore, bathing is a chore, chores are...well, chores. You go through the day job like a maniac and keep checking the clock to see if it's quittin' time yet because the book is giving you its Siren Call of Death and you can't ignore. It NEEDS to die already.
I've completed fifteen other novels (and started countless others but we won't go there). I know this process now; I KNOW soon I will be standing over this book's corpse victorious, sweaty, and probably smelly with a bloody knife in my hand. I know it's putting up a fight now, but in those final moments, it'll accept the inevitable and death will be a mercy.
But it just can't come fast enough.
And the end of a book tends to be the most draining; this is where hearts are broken, the stakes are impossibly high, and my heroine just wants to curl up and kick the proverbial bucket. And I almost want to join her because I'm just so damn tired. I'm sitting in that corner with her now, begging for it all to be over...and I know that soon it will be and I'll then I'll have to wind down from the teary exhaustion. Worse still, I'll get that twinge of excitement and dread because I'll do it all again with the third book in a few months (hopefully for NaNo).
Ah, writers. We're a crazy bunch.
Now I'm off again to get day job stuff done and feel vaguely guilty for not getting laundry done and cutting my treadmill time in half. I'll keep my head down, push through while thoughts of the final scenes swirl in my head, then bring in an air strike to try take down the book's defenses tonight.
In the meantime, here's a couple of lines from the WIP that I think best sum it up today:
Clouds above me were blackish-blue, like ugly bruises on an already weary night. We were beaten down, this night and me, and now both of us hid and hoped for morning when the fists would stop pummelling.
I just don't know if I'm the pummelled or the pummeller this time.
Quick hit tonight, bunnies--hopefully I'll be back with something a little more substantial over the weekend.
For now...here are tonight's thoughts.
1. All submissions from June/July were held because I was in the process of moving. Boss dumped the slush on me to sort yesterday so after I reject a whole lot, I'll have to scare up the readers again and get everything caught up (and yes, including from the last open period--we had quit a few that were split down the middle decision-wise and slush got thrown to the side while I moved). Something I noticed this time around...
I'm not looking at the slush with glee, ready to find a few gems and get my snark on at the rest (I know it's bad of me, but I always got *such* a giggle over the truly atrocious books that I kinda looked forward to them). No, it's more...like the life has been sucked right out of me. It's dread, all heavy and hard in the bottom of my gut. Because I know how it'll go: I'll see the same mistakes and keep shaking my head, I'll get angry letters back when I reject... Until you've read hundreds and hundreds of cover letters and manuscripts, you can't fully appreciate how it really starts to mess with your head after awhile.
2. What I DID see among the slush were some in house submissions from authors I adore, so yay! They go on the top of the list.
3. I've been quiet all day (Wed) and probably will be Thurs/Fri too, keeping my head down and working but avoiding most people. Why? Crazy is in the air.
Crazy is always in the air somewhere, but sometimes you see it more than others. The normally fun, eclectic occult blogs and forums that I follow for research have exploded suddenly with this insane drama and clash of occultists. To clarify, it turns out one side is tres crazy--I was a little shocked at what happened. And then of course, yes, when "the death of publishing/every should start vanity publishing" conversation comes up somewhere, things go nuts and we all just mutter "Publishing is dying? Must be Tuesday" but people have gotten really heated the past couple of days. Normally nice, quiet peeps are revealing rather sharp tongues, and I watched a rather entertaining author/reviewer train wreck over the weekend.
It's not the normal crazy--it's kinda like the filter went away and people are either saying what they're thinking or getting really defensive about what others are saying.
Aside from my piracy meltdown, which isn't really out of the ordinary for me, I kinda just threw up my hands and said, "Okay, this would be a good coupla days to just NOT talk to anyone." I tend to breathe conflict without even meaning to so when everyone is going nuts, it's not a good time for me to join in.
4. Normally I love a good fight and would be all over the above, but I've just been kinda sitting here thinking... I'm tired. I'm tired of he said/she said, I'm tired of people arguing over publishing methods with their own agendas and not even listening to each other (or yelling at someone who is mostly fair and agenda-free), I'm tired of the high school social politics and shit among some authors and reviewers, I'm tired of writers and their attitude with my staff...
What I'd kinda love is to just go move to a tiny house out in the country, grow my own food, and keep to myself. Just wave bye-bye to the drama, unplug, and disappear for awhile. And that's not remotely feasible, but it remains my dream.
What I probably need to do is work on constructing a safe space I can retreat to (like I am with food on the advice of my nutritionist, who is now on Facebook so you should "like" her). But I'll continue having my little dream world where I don't have to deal with online...or offline...people for awhile.
5. I hit the This Book Will Not Die stage of writing Wounded--I have maybe 10K or so left to write and I'm actively cleaning the apartment and putting extra kms on the treadmill to avoid it. I'll just keep stabbing away though...I know eventually it'll end.
I also keep stabbing at Chapter Seventeen of CotA but I'm all jumbled around 'cause stuff is happening that I didn't plan for, and now I'm trying to rethink WTF I'm doing. I should have finished the chapter over the weekend but pirates derailed me and now I keep seeing readers on the CotA site looking for the chapter. I alternate between feeling bad and thinking, "WTF? Why does no one just scroll down on the main page where I said 'IT'S NOT DONE YET' rather than refresh the TOC a bunch of times?" Le sigh.
6. I was a little tipsy-while-tweeting a few days ago on Twitter and made a bet with the awesome Heather Petty, who is attempting to finish her WIP this week. Suffice to say, it looks like I'm going to have to go grocery shopping to prepare a meal for someone...
The moral of the story is wine + Twitter = WTF did I get myself into?
If you read Wolfe, you know there are a lot of loose ends. This is because I never saw either book as being remotely about plot--both are purely about the main character's arc. And I realize this bugged some people. But I did, ultimately, see where things were headed (her "destiny" as is alluded to repeatedly in both books), and figured I'd wrap this up in an anthology of shorts.
I called it Changed, for some obvious reasons and some not-so-obvious reasons.
(This paragraph is for River/Wolfe readers) The set up of the antho had one main, present day story, divided into multiple parts. In between were short stories from different character POVs in different points of time. I'd written two already: "Rebellion" was from Daryl's POV and took place the night he bit River, while "Doe, A Deer" followed Jewel Doe about two weeks prior to the start of Wolfe (if you've read it, you know what her condition was by the end of it and might guess what the story was about). Other shorts involved Kia and Noah from Wolfe, Danielle from Wolfe (as a possible love interest for Charlie), Gray and Rick Nacy from years before the start of River, as well as one short that followed the young hunter River runs into towards the end of Wolfe. I also wrote the opening for the main, present set storyline and plotted out where it was all going.
I'm putting the rest of this behind a cut because a) I'm posting an excerpt from Changed and there may be people who might not want to read it, and b) I'm tying this to a larger issue that you can probably guess about by looking at the tags for this entry. But if you do keep reading, please know that I deeply appreciate it. Read more
All has been quiet as I've been juggling work with that sanity-thing I'm working on as well as making progress on the WIPs. Instant messengers turned off (save for with two coworkers), Facebook is languishing, and I've just popped onto Twitter now and then because I rather like the...I guess forgiving nature of it, as I can pop on, say one thing quickly, and don't feel obligated to reply. We've had absolutely insane storms which I kinda love because I hate the sun, though that's led to some power outages.
I played hooky and gave myself a three day weekend: went to the movies Friday, ran some errands Saturday then had mum over for homemade pizza and beer, then today I spent some time with a video game and did some major work on the WIPs. Tomorrow morning email answering will battle the need to clean my apartment at the top of my to-do list. I'm still not certain who will win.
It's absolutely glorious to be actually writing regularly again. I adore the tactile feeling of my hands on the keyboard and the sound of keys clicking (I'm a nerd, yes). And then watching words appear out of nothing on the screen, then going back and thinking, "Wow, I wrote that?" is addicting. I can't say I enjoyed the months "off" because writing is like breathing to me, but sometimes a couple needs time apart to appreciate one another. I've mixed my metaphors there, but the muse is so happy to see me that she doesn't even care.
And she's helping me juggle two WIPs at the moment, so yeah, she must love and forgive me. I've committed to catching up with Children of the Apocalypse by posting two chapters a month until the end of Part Three's run in November. These are typically 5K-8K chapters, so that's...a lot of writing.
And equally important is Abandoned's sequel, Wounded. The first 24K has been sent to the beta reader, and I'm currently nearly 28K. And I love this book. It's a little rougher than Abandoned because it can take awhile, I find, to discover the balance in the sequel so that it complements the first without me comparing it to the first.
It occurred to me tonight that when I complete CotA 3 and Wounded in a few months (cross your fingers), I'll have finished my sixteenth and seventeenth novel respectively. I finished my very first novel in 2001 (end of high school), so this will make seventeen books in nine years. That's a little much to wrap my brain around, actually.
I found a lovely cover of my unofficial theme song for Wounded, and thought I'd pass it along.
Back in May, I wrote about why I do my job and how one of my first acquisitions really changed the way I look at what I do. Today, the author mentioned in that post is visiting. She graciously agreed to answer some questions and at the end of this post, I'll be giving away a prize!
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1. In case people haven't read your other interviews, please tell us what Thief is about, either in writing or in a badly drawn stick-figure comic.
(Click to enlarge.)
This is why I’m not an artist.
(Skyla's Note: Sevy saying "I'm feeling stabby!" might be my favourite thing ever.)
2. I remember when this book first came across my virtual slush desk, I fell in love with the heroine Sevy immediately. She's not traditionally likable, however. Did you ever worry readers wouldn't connect with a self-described bitch like her?
To quote my dad, “Why does Sevy have to be so mean all the time?” I knew that there was a chance that some readers wouldn’t be able to look past all the awful things she does to see the lonely, wounded soul on the inside, which is why I felt it important to include the character of Revik. Even if people don’t connect with Sevy, I think they’ll be able to with Revik. He’s kind, charming, adventurous…a more traditional type of hero. And it doesn’t surprise me in the least that I’m hearing that he’s becoming a favourite among readers.
3. I love hearing about the music my favourite writers think of as their book's "theme song" or what they have on their unofficial soundtracks. What music do you play with Thief? What theme songs do you have for Sevy or the other characters?
I listened to a lot of depressing, alt rock while I was writing Thief. It helped me get into Sevy’s frame of mind. As for theme songs, I have a few:
#1 Crush by Garbage
Bonnie and Clyde II by Martina Sorbara
Creep by Radiohead
Full of Grace by Sarah McLaughlin
Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance
Empty by The Cranberries
You’re Beautiful by James Blunt
Who Knew by Pink
4. We both have a love of zombies and making zombie survival plans. Now I'm curious: what would Sevy's zombie survival plans include?
Sevy would be awesome in a zombie outbreak! Girl could use a good stress reliever, and what could be better than slashing through countless undead? I could see Sevy holing up in the Bloody Heart, getting hammered on Vipin’s piss poor ale until she needed to go out to get supplies. And then watch out, zombies! Eventually, I’m sure Revik would come for her and she’d go with him back to the Ullydrans where the zombie count would be lower and the chances of living a semi-normal life would improve. She could earn her keep by keeping the mountains zombie-free.
5. Eloria, where most of Thief takes place, is a very clear setting. Dark, urban, dangerous, where gangs rule and people--like Sevy--often slip through the cracks. How important do you feel setting is in fiction? Did you draw inspiration from real places for the settings in Thief?
Creating a realistic setting is just as important as creating realistic characters. A person’s environment is the driving force behind a lot of their decisions. Would Sevy have behaved the way she did if she had grown up in the quaint fishing village of her childhood? I doubt it. She would have still been a brat, but she never would have sunk to the level of depravity that she does thanks to her time spent on the streets of Eloria.
When I picture Eloria in my mind, I see an amalgam of 18th century Europe and the modern day slums of Rio de Janeiro. I wanted to create a setting where people were poor, uneducated, and had to resort to some pretty awful things in order to survive. Morality doesn’t really come into play when you are always at risk of being robbed, murdered, or starving or freezing to death. I wanted Sevy to feel isolated and vulnerable because I think that does a lot to explain why she becomes so obsessed with the first person to show her a bit of compassion.
I remember one of the members of my writing group speaking about Eloria, and asked me if there was anything good about the city. I’m sure there is, but because the story is told from Sevy’s point of view, readers don’t really get to see that side of it.
6. What has influenced your writing the most? Any particular books or movies?
I’ve always enjoyed books/movies with darker, depressing themes, most bordering on the macabre. I also enjoy stories which feature antiheros. Perfectly perfect people don’t appeal to me. I like stories that blur the lines between good and evil, and that really make you think about moral relativism. Growing up, I enjoyed reading the works of Edgar Allan Poe, Stephen King, and Anne Rice, and I think that these early influences can still be seen in my writing.
But what I think has influenced my writing the most is my university education in anthropology. Not only does it help me with world building, but it also provides me with a wealth of new ideas that helped me to move away from the traditional Lord of the Rings type of fantasy.
Which is cool, because I’m glad that considering I’m working in a field completely unrelated to anthropology (I’m a vet tech), it’s nice that my degree was good for something other than racking up massive amounts of student loans.
7. What's one piece of writing advice you heard before you were published that hasn't been true for you at all? Conversely, what advice turned out to be accurate and helpful?
I read that the only way to get published was to get an agent. Perhaps that would have been the case if I had wanted to get accepted by big publishing houses, but I was able to find a great publisher on my own. Now that’s not to say that I wouldn’t like to land an agent one day, but I found out that there is more than one way to accomplish my goals.
The advice that turned out to be the most helpful was an article I read about the importance of creating a website even if you didn’t have a single thing published. It helps to build your online presence (creating a brand like Skyla has blogged about) and to show prospective publishers/agents that you are professional and capable of attracting an audience.
8. So what question should I have asked you? And what would you have answered?
Hmmm, how about “If Thief were ever made into a movie, who would you want to play Sevy?”
Well, as it happens, there is this cool new site I was invited to join where users can create their ideal cast for their favourite books. You can check out my cast here
9. Finally, you love cats. I love cats. My readers--since they are awesome attractive people--also love cats. Please find the most ZOMG adorable picture you have of one of your cats and I'll post it.
Behold the cuteness!
(Skyla's note: Sarah-Jane sent me two photos and told me to pick one. But...HOW CAN YOU PICK JUST ONE?? So I give you both because I'm awesome like that.)
Thank you very much for dropping by, Sarah-Jane!
Thanks for having me!
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Now for the prize!
Want to win a paperback copy of Thief? I'll do a random draw Wednesday at noon. Ish. I might sleep in...but it'll likely be Wednesday, July 7, noon-ish EST. The more things you do, the more times you'll be added to the draw.
* Tell me in the comments why you want to win Thief. 1
* Retweet this post on Twitter. 1
* Post a link to this page on Facebook. 1
* Ask Sarah-Jane a question in the comments here. 2
* Post a cat picture in the comments. 3
* Blog about Sarah-Jane and Thief. 3
* Share with us your zombie survival plan in the comments. 3
Have you already bought Thief in eBook or paperback from Mundania Press? By golly, I think I might love you. If that's the case, either forward me your receipt (skyladawncameron[at]gmail[dot]com) or send me the name/email address you purchased it with so I can double check the order. You'll get your name tossed in the proverbial hat ten more times...and if you win, you can pick any book out of the Mundania store (or the coming soon page--in that case, you'll get it when it's out) as your paperback prize.
Okay, da rules: limited to US and Canada. I know, I know, that sucks, but paperback shipping can get costly. BUT if you're outside that area and want to participate anyways, I'll totally love you for it. Also, for retweeting and blogging, either leave links in the comments or email them to the email address in the paragraph above. And it's really helpful if you leave your name/email address when you comment so I know how to contact the winner. Don't want to win a prize? That's cool too--RT, facebook, blog, and comment just to show your support, if you like. :-)
Well, I’m settling back into work and am nearly caught up. Redid the schedule (kept it mostly the same, but cleaned everything up), am double checking all edit statuses, and other really boring sounding stuff. I have a whack of email to answer all over the place, and I might tackle that tonight before writing time.
The swirling black hole of depression has been creeping up, mostly because—I believe—I feel so disconnected sometimes. I know three people in town, one of whom is my mother, and it’s kinda hard to get out and “do” stuff outside of the apartment when I don’t actually have any hobbies or things I want to do. I don’t even really dig shopping. Woe is me. But then this time, I didn’t really bother with the CBT...I think sometimes it’s good to be kinda depressed. To leap into the abyss and float for awhile. It’s useful. And I know I have resources available to me to pull myself out again—like CBT and strawberry daiquiris—so it’s a little less scary and feels just a little less permanent.
I will have some book related news to share with you perhaps in a few weeks. Or perhaps not. BUT I’m doing some other writing which is awesome, even if the words suck and there aren’t many of them. Baby steps, bunnies. Baby steps.
Also, today is my grandpa’s birthday. He’s 96 and lives on his own still. I think that’s pretty awesome.
I’ll share a whack of links with you now. Enjoy!
* A collection of the most recent Mundania Press releases.
* Speaking of, the AD was finishing up work on Louise’s book Sacrament of Night so I added it to the coming soon page. And then we both got teary eyed.
* Elaine Corvidae posted the final chapter of her serial Fire in the Void.
* Sarah-Jane Lehoux in the newspaper! Go SJ! BTW, Ms. Lehoux is visiting the blog tomorrow and there will be interview questions, cat pictures, and ZOMG PRIZES! So drop by tomorrow for more.
* Horror author Owl Goingback isn’t allowed on Facebook without showing proof of his identity because they think his real name (First Nations) is fake. I think Facebook fucking sucks. Here’s the group.
* Of course there have been lots of awesome Lili Saintcrow posts in my absence. I’m still catching up. Most recently, on how we need our alone time as writers. I always worry, though, that I have TOO much alone time and I’m too disconnected. But the people in my head are just so much preferable to real ones...
* via Lili, a post on sick systems (part one, part two, and part three that really spoke to me. The author’s blog might be hard to read because the articles were so popular, she exceeded her bandwidth for images. BUT...highly worth the read.
