There's a pause button on life, right? Something I can press to just let me get caught up? How about "restart level"? That would be handy.
I think I play too many video games.
Last weekend was the slush pile survivor workshop, which I ran with a fellow editor. It was lots of fun and we got great feedback. Of course, that also meant we were busy prepping from mid last week straight until the day of the workshop. Then I got a headache Saturday night, which continued until yesterday (at which point I realized it was coffee withdrawal, and promptly pumped caffeine into my veins), so I spent Sunday in bed reading.
I had 330 emails to deal with Monday morning.
A bunch of them, as I scroll through, are from the same people asking the same questions because I haven't answered yet. I'm totally stuck with how to address this kind of thing. Am I supposed to have an auto-responder saying "I swear I got your email--just give me a few days to get you an answer"? Am I supposed to email everyone I know every time there's life stuff going on/illness/etc to say "If you send me something, I won't get back to you until next week"? Should I add a block to my blog that has a current Skyla update?
I have no answers, beyond "get a secretary" but that's not an option at this point. But stupid February was all sneaky again and ended without me finishing the stuff I had to get done for February. I don't even have the latest CotA chapter ready to go, so that'll likely have to wait until the end of the week. Ugh.
Now. Round up of links.
Publishing/Writing Stuff:
* Adrienne Jones talks about the inspiration behind her novel The Hoax. Mundania is re-releasing it shortly, revised and with a snazzy new cover. I'll tell you when it's available so that you can buy it because Adrienne is awesome.
* Mundania is closed to submissions still. Normally we re-open in March, but there's just too much going on right now and it wouldn't be fair to hold subs for a few months before we have time to evaluate them. This time, we're waiting until June. And yet I'm still getting subs and questions from people about it. Writers, it should go without saying, but: when the info on the submissions page of a publisher's site contradicts sub info from another website, go with what the submissions page says.
Many authors feel differently than me and Jaime, and a host of others. Now, although I think writers should have a united front on this, I don't feel it's my place to tell others how to feel about their work being stolen.
Do you get that? It's not my place to tell others how to feel.
Some don't see piracy as a big deal. Maybe they don't have to rely on their writing income for bills (my royalties this month can cover groceries so I'm THRILLED) and they're happy just to be read. Maybe they see no problem with the work being shared around freely and they feel that a reader gained is a reader gained, even if it happens illegally.
Okay. Great. That's valid and fine for them. But that's the beauty of intellectual property rights: the creator can choose how and when the work is reproduced. The creator can say, "Sure--pirate away!" So while I won't tell others how *they* should feel about their work being freely shared, by the same token I'd prefer if they didn't tell Jaime and me how to feel either. You know what? If someone obtains my work via illegal mass downloads, I don't see the simple "oh well, I gained a reader--who cares if they didn't pay for my product?" view. Writing is part of my job. I'm well within my legal--and moral--rights to expect payment for the entertainment I provide. So if someone refuses to obtain my work legally, I don't *want* them as a reader. I don't want them as a fan. I'd rather not be read than have my work pirated. And I have every right to feel that way and express my opinion--without others trying to silence me--as the owner of the intellectual property rights of my work. So for those who would like to tell me and Jaime how to feel about piracy, you can go fuck yourself with a fucking loaf of bread.
Next.
* Ana Winson's new website is live. Ana has been my cover artist for Bloodlines, the award-winning Wolfe, and the re-release of River. Go visit!
* Depression kills. Suicide is not people being "selfish" and every time someone repeats that myth, it further distances people at risk from those they care about. Suicide is what happens when pain exceeds the resources for coping with pain. If you're worried about someone you know being suicidal, give them more resources to cope with pain, or help lessen their pain. Don't tell them they're being "selfish."
I gotta get blogging more. I'm just really lazy and typically post links on Twitter to whatever I'm interested in, rather than do a proper blog post. But anyways, I'm going to try to do a round up post on Sundays of nifty, random stuff.
In Skyla News, I was on limited office hours this week due to really bad wrist pain, which flares up if I don't take enough breaks for several weeks. So...ouch. And in writing news, I've been suffering a whiny case of, "Writing is hard--waaaaah!" so I've pretty much kept to myself. I don't understand why staring blankly at the screen doesn't make words appear...
First up, publishing/writing stuff.
* A great piece on writers' expectations and publishing. I love this piece. It addresses the obsession with instant success stories (which I've talked a bit about before) and the whiny "Why do crappy books get published?" thing that everyone says. And it was summed up best by the awesome Julie Butcher: "So if we're hard-heads, we win?" Yep.
* Lili's Friday writing post about the fear that characters will stop talking to you if you're happier and don't share their pain. And it's a fantastic post because I've had that fear for years. I'm viewing shitty life experiences now as "taking one for the team"--they've allowed me to go to a very dark place and transform those feelings and experiences into something cathartic for others. In short, I feel like my best books are the ones I write for fellow damaged people. So if I actively work on being happier and healthier, can I still write effectively for the damaged? I don't know. But it's worth a shot.
* I wrote on the MP blog about my author checklist. This is something I've heard a LOT of editors talk about--what type of writers do they want to work with...and who do they REALLY not want around? I came up with nine qualities I've encountered that make me twitchy. I also encourage writers to come up with their checklist for publishers. I think we all have to be clear about what our expectations are for one another to make the best match possible, because really, that's how a book is going to be successful--when both parties are on the same page. I expect someone's going to get bent out of shape over it but, you know, someone's gotta say these things.
* Follow The Pixel Project on Twitter. Every night they tweet helplines from all over the world to DV shelters. Retweet the numbers and you could save a life.
A lot of things got overwhelming and I haven't blogged in awhile. I thought of a bazillion things to say, but never got around to it. One of the things I'd still like to write is "How to Deal with a Bipolar Friend" because I had an extremely severe depressive episode a little while ago that I had trouble getting through, and it's hard for people to be supportive of me when I'm in that headspace because I get very self-destructive.
I'd like to talk more about bipolar disorder here, you know, because I think the amount of stigma around mental illness and mood disorders is ridiculous. People like me can function without medication, but too many people are afraid to really talk about what's going on with them because they don't want to be "crazy" and that pisses me off. Who the fuck cares if I'm crazy? Not me. I think it makes me interesting.
Also during the depressive phase was the "I Want to Retire from Writing for Publication" post which I probably won't end up writing, but is still on my mind. That's a problem I'm still trying to solve right now.
And then I went manic and I thought of a MILLION things to say at 4 o'clock in the morning when I couldn't sleep and was baking/cleaning/jogging/talking really fast. But, of course, I didn't blog at all because I know to stay the hell away from the internet when that happens. Otherwise I post constantly and go kinda loony. Of course, I caved and Twittered a lot. Y'all (I can't believe I typed that) should follow me so you can be there next time I get impulsive and talkative.
We've been in the process of acquiring some new books for the 2011 catalogue for MP, which I'm quite excited about, and my boss asked me to blog about what made us pick those books (which I'll get to, eventually, and it'll be on the company blog). I've also officially taken over the editor/author wrangling and scheduling for our erotica imprint, so I'm working all books across all three (soon to be four) imprints into one massive schedule, which led to me having nightmares of spreadsheets. That's right, Skyla Dawn, author of weird, fantastical books and occasional horror, has nightmares of spreadsheets.
See, I told you I needed the bipolar disorder to be interesting.
Last night I had one of those dreams that left me exhausted and freaked out when I awoke (typical weird dream that involved someone chasing/attempting to kill me, I think), and I got out of bed feeling like I'd been in a bar fight. Whole body aches like it does when I push myself in yoga or do belly dancing the day before. But I hadn't done those things, so WTH? Then tonight I figured a long, long walk would do me good. Now I'm sitting here at 2 am feeling chilled, headachy, and a little sick. I very rarely get actually sick--this only happens when I'm just feeling run down. I know, I know, body telling me to stop and slow down, right? Except WHY does the body have to decide to do this when I have shit to do? Why can't it wait until I'm not busy? Stupid body. Know what I think would do it some good? Couple of Rickard's Red and a cheese pizza. And a video game. And babies. And kittens.
Okay, I lost my train of thought.
I'm actually visiting the idea of continuing with Curio Killed the Cat sometime next year. Briar came and tapped me on the shoulder--she's lazy, yes, but she likes to be heard. And that's why I gave her her own blog at the site (click the "Briar's Blog" link at the top) and Twitter account. She promptly got in an argument with another character of mine on Twitter.
I *swear* the only problem I have is bipolar disorder--I don't really have multiple personalities. Though sometimes I do feel a little like Alpha from Dollhouse.
I split this month's Children of the Apocalypse chapter into two parts because I'm evil and love cliffhangers. Plus I think I've alienated or turned off nearly ever reader (including most long term ones) except for a couple, so I've gone crazy with the freedom of not caring what anyone thinks and dove into squicky relationships and French body hopping serial killers. Okay, not "killers"--there's just one. So far. You can never have enough body hopping serial killers of the Quebecois variety, as far as I'm concerned.
I'll make this one quick. I'm only posting 'cause I'm waiting for my drugs to kick in so that I can go to sleep...
1) Dollhouse. I just wanted to make a comment about the penultimate episode, Briar Rose. I read a lot of comments by viewers about the Paul Ballard/Boyd fight in the Dollhouse. Some people were on Paul's side, others were on Boyd's. Am I the only one who wasn't on either of their sides?
These were two men fighting over what *they* thought was best for a grown woman. It doesn't matter what their intentions were (both had seemingly good reasons)--what matters is that no one even asked HER what she wanted.
Sure, you can argue that she didn't know what was best for her and she's essentially childlike...but, uh, I think we've heard that argument before--it was used for centuries to suppress women's rights.
I thought that was a really powerful statement about how even good intentioned men step right over the agency of women.
2) Lost. I won't post spoilers for tonight's episode...just, you know what was in the box at the end? The ZOMG moment? I totally called early in the season, as soon as the plane crashed. I said that that particular person wasn't really that particular person. Yay me!
What did surprise me, though, is that I was right--I guessed that because I dislike the character and would have written it that way, and the writers of the show very rarely do what I would do. (Well, what I would do is have regular scenes of Desmond running naked through the jungle and talking randomly in his sexy accent, but that's me.)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it last year when you peed your pants at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my illegitimate child in Ghana. I'm sure you're middle-class enough to understand that I'm allergic to your earlobes. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I will always remember the pep talks and you should get that embarrassing rash checked.
I have a love/hate thing with Christmas...I like presents, but I hate waiting for them. I have fond memories from childhood, but nasty ones from adulthood. Oh, and I fucking hate winter, which kills a lot of the joy from the season for me. But I thought I'd share some random things 'cause I just don't have anything else to blog about...
* I didn't really believe in Santa, but I liked leaving carrots for his reindeer just in case. And FYI: I don't think parents should tell their kids that strange men come into their houses at night. It certainly affected my ability to sleep.
* There is only one photo of me with Santa when I was three or four, and I'm crying and screaming in it because I had no idea who this weird guy was that my mum had just given me to. Another FYI: parents, that's totally not cool to do to your kids.
* In the first grade, I accidentally put "Love, Skyla" on all the Christmas cards I handed out at school. I say "accidental" because I didn't really love everyone, but I wrote it for my friends and didn't realize I was doing it for everyone else. And then I got made fun of severely.
* I STILL do that kind of thing. I make out all my Christmas cards at once, and usually write "Love, Skyla" without even thinking about it. As a result, I'm certain that all my acquaintances, employers, and neighbours from the past several years think I'm overly emotional or perhaps a little creepy.
* I care more about wrapping than the actual gift I'm giving. I figure it can be the crappiest gift in the world, so long as it looks pretty. Thank you, innate marketing ability, for that valuable lesson.
* Christmas Eve and Day were always spent at my grandparent's place when I was a kid. This meant that I didn't always get to peek at my presents early because they wouldn't be put out until later.
* The years when we didn't do that, I almost always unwrapped my presents early, saw what they were, then rewrapped them and feigned surprise later.
* I once got a giant She-Ra pillow-y toy that was almost as tall as me. I wish I still had that.
* I was very disappointed every year as I grew up and got fewer toys. Even as a teenager, I secretly hoped I'd open my gifts and find Barbie dolls.
* I have the uncanny ability to guess what people purchased for me using very few clues. And before I open things, I like to correctly guess what's wrapped up.
* Both Aunt Judy and I got my dog presents this year. She's so spoiled.
So what if I go to work today, and I get hit by a bus, and I die an hour later after being in a vegetative in the hospital?
That would mean that I would DIE WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT MY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS ARE.
Really, it's nice that people are so full of faith and belief that I'm going to live for at least the next two weeks, but you don't know what the future will hold. Anything could happen. Ergo, you should give me my presents NOW so that I don't die wondering what the surprises are.
