Skyla's blog

Email Slayer Redux

Spending the day away from the office at a friend's house...in her office while she's away. And I'm tackling email (the horror) to keep me from going all Wicker Man on a few people.

When I started:

And now:

And now breaking to get a drink of rum spiked ice tea and playing around with updating the website here and there. (Apologies if things get screwy as you're navigating around here, folks!)

In other news, if I'd slept in yesterday, I would have been hit with a fucking shelf hanging over my bed. As it is, books ended up all over and a plant ended up in my laundry. I'll be picking broken pieces of terracotta out of my thongs now.

(And, of course, in the age of social media, I took pictures for several minutes to document the fiasco rather than, like, clean it up...)

My mum hung the shelf, therefore I'm working under the assumption that she's trying to kill me.

Happy St. Paddy's Day, boys and girls. Remember to kiss me, 'cause I'm Irish. Or at least my liver is...

Sunday Post

Hey folks. I was on holidays last week--a real, actual vacation away from home. I brought all kinds of work with me to do and only ended up doing a bit of it AND went like two days without checking my email. I'm sure that had people pulling their hair out waiting for me to reply, and I grant you I have a week's worth of work to catch up on, but...this is an important step for me, a workaholic.

Of course, I've been in hermit mode since I got back. I've found new and exciting things to do this weekend, including colour coordinating everything hanging in my closet. And my landlord is bringing a new fridge tomorrow, so I had to hide the meth lab. (KIDDING. If my landlord is reading this, hi, nice to see you, I swear I don't have a meth lab. Just pot plants. And I'm also kidding about that. Probably.)

We went to see Shutter Island, and although I was accidentally spoiled ahead of time for the twist, I thought it was a really well done film and quite enjoyed it. Then we saw Alice in Wonderland, and I adored it--as far as movies-that-aren't-intended-to-be-feminist-but-have-some-great-feminist-messages go, it was a great example.

Since I wasn't online for a week, I'm kinda short on things to link to today because my mum is on dial-up and so I don't bother trying to do much on her computer. But here are a couple of things:

* Lili Saintcrow on not knowing if your writing is good enough to submit. Because I work in slush so I see a whole lot of stuff that I can clearly see wasn't good enough for the author to submit (that's like 80% of what we see), but those writers thought their work was ready. How do you gain the objectivity to tell and keep yourself from being the writing equivalent of the tone-deaf people on American Idol? Well, if you keep working and writing, eventually you'll probably get some objectivity, but you'll likely always have those moments of "OMG, this book sucks." Welcome to being a writer! It never gets easier. Here, have a beer.

* A high school cancels prom over one of the students wanting to bring her girlfriend. You know, I was going to write a long rant here, but I`d likely be preaching the to the choir 'cause I know such awesome people. But FYI: a huge portion of our (meaning N.America, 'cause this happened in the US) population really fucking sucks sometimes.

* A great piece by Jenny the Bloggess over at Good Mom/Bad Mom on being worthy.

* An article from February, but a fantastic philosophy that it sold me on hiring Michelle myself: Eat food. Stuff you like. As much as you want.

* I'm on Formspring. Go ahead and ask me anything anonymously. I'll probably answer.

I can't think of any entertaining videos this week, 'cause again, I didn't see any...so if you have some to share, Tweet me or throw 'em in the comments!

Sunday Post...On Tuesday

There's a pause button on life, right? Something I can press to just let me get caught up? How about "restart level"? That would be handy.

I think I play too many video games.

Last weekend was the slush pile survivor workshop, which I ran with a fellow editor. It was lots of fun and we got great feedback. Of course, that also meant we were busy prepping from mid last week straight until the day of the workshop. Then I got a headache Saturday night, which continued until yesterday (at which point I realized it was coffee withdrawal, and promptly pumped caffeine into my veins), so I spent Sunday in bed reading.

I had 330 emails to deal with Monday morning.

A bunch of them, as I scroll through, are from the same people asking the same questions because I haven't answered yet. I'm totally stuck with how to address this kind of thing. Am I supposed to have an auto-responder saying "I swear I got your email--just give me a few days to get you an answer"? Am I supposed to email everyone I know every time there's life stuff going on/illness/etc to say "If you send me something, I won't get back to you until next week"? Should I add a block to my blog that has a current Skyla update?

I have no answers, beyond "get a secretary" but that's not an option at this point. But stupid February was all sneaky again and ended without me finishing the stuff I had to get done for February. I don't even have the latest CotA chapter ready to go, so that'll likely have to wait until the end of the week. Ugh.

Now. Round up of links.

Publishing/Writing Stuff:

* Adrienne Jones talks about the inspiration behind her novel The Hoax. Mundania is re-releasing it shortly, revised and with a snazzy new cover. I'll tell you when it's available so that you can buy it because Adrienne is awesome.

* Mundania is closed to submissions still. Normally we re-open in March, but there's just too much going on right now and it wouldn't be fair to hold subs for a few months before we have time to evaluate them. This time, we're waiting until June. And yet I'm still getting subs and questions from people about it. Writers, it should go without saying, but: when the info on the submissions page of a publisher's site contradicts sub info from another website, go with what the submissions page says.

* This is not the way to get Random House's attention. At least not GOOD attention.

* Elaine Corvidae's comic Riven Sol is available in print (at least the first chapter). You can also read online free, of course.

* J.A. Saare would like to talk to you about piracy. And so would I. We all know my feelings on the subject, so I'm going to say something else this time.

Many authors feel differently than me and Jaime, and a host of others. Now, although I think writers should have a united front on this, I don't feel it's my place to tell others how to feel about their work being stolen.

Do you get that? It's not my place to tell others how to feel.

Some don't see piracy as a big deal. Maybe they don't have to rely on their writing income for bills (my royalties this month can cover groceries so I'm THRILLED) and they're happy just to be read. Maybe they see no problem with the work being shared around freely and they feel that a reader gained is a reader gained, even if it happens illegally.

Okay. Great. That's valid and fine for them. But that's the beauty of intellectual property rights: the creator can choose how and when the work is reproduced. The creator can say, "Sure--pirate away!" So while I won't tell others how *they* should feel about their work being freely shared, by the same token I'd prefer if they didn't tell Jaime and me how to feel either. You know what? If someone obtains my work via illegal mass downloads, I don't see the simple "oh well, I gained a reader--who cares if they didn't pay for my product?" view. Writing is part of my job. I'm well within my legal--and moral--rights to expect payment for the entertainment I provide. So if someone refuses to obtain my work legally, I don't *want* them as a reader. I don't want them as a fan. I'd rather not be read than have my work pirated. And I have every right to feel that way and express my opinion--without others trying to silence me--as the owner of the intellectual property rights of my work. So for those who would like to tell me and Jaime how to feel about piracy, you can go fuck yourself with a fucking loaf of bread.

Next.

* Ana Winson's new website is live. Ana has been my cover artist for Bloodlines, the award-winning Wolfe, and the re-release of River. Go visit!

Feminist stuff:

* A Nicaragua woman--and mother of a ten year old--is being denied cancer treatment because she's pregnant. And every time I think about it, I get angry and upset, so just go read there and here to learn more.

Random:

* Depression kills. Suicide is not people being "selfish" and every time someone repeats that myth, it further distances people at risk from those they care about. Suicide is what happens when pain exceeds the resources for coping with pain. If you're worried about someone you know being suicidal, give them more resources to cope with pain, or help lessen their pain. Don't tell them they're being "selfish."

* A Twilight fan thinks The Wolfman ripped off Twilight. Yeah, I don't have anything else to say about that.

* The instant "Noooooo!" button for dire situations. You know you want to press it.

* The Count...Censored.

* My Little Pony Musicals. (I couldn't turn it off although it terrified me.)

Words of Wisdom #7

"The demons I knew traded in death and terror, yes, but it was humans who dealt in cruelty.”

~Dessa, Abandoned

Deep Thoughts

"It's not easy breaking out of your comfort zone. People will tear you down, tell you you shouldn't have bothered in the first place, but let me tell you something. There's not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you. They're both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they're cheering for you. You do that, and someday, they will."

~Sue Sylvester, Glee ep 4.

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I want to be Sue when I grow up.

I was going to pontificate further, but you know, I'm going to go sit in a hot bubble bath instead, breathe in some lemongrass oil, and pretend I'm going to have an epiphany when in reality I'm just going to stress and think myself in circles.

Sunday Post

I had another week from hell. And it *really* sucks to not be able to explain why--I'm such a loudmouth and it's killing me to only be able to bitch privately. Le sigh.

I gave my mum the book I just wrote (YA paranormal called Abandoned) to read 'cause I was really proud of it (a month later and I DON'T want to burn it). She just finished it and said it made her cry at the end. This is good because my mother never cries with books and occasionally jokes that she has no feelings. So yeah, that's probably the best thing a writer can hear--we love to make people cry. Er, yes, we're a little twisted. So?

I'm spending Valentine's Day with Alistair from Dragon Age. He hasn't bought me chocolate or anything, but I'm sure I can get him to put out one of these days... I've also decided that the only reliable men exist in fiction, so if you have a y chromosome, tread very carefully around me right now...

Here are a few links for you today:

* You want to follow Ann Aguirre on Twitter. She'll give out some Hell Fire ARCs (WANT!) when she hits 2K followers, but more importantly, she's a lovely person who saved my sanity with Dragon Age.

* Slush Pile Survival Workshop - A fellow editor and I are giving this workshop locally in two weeks and it's going to be loads of fun. There are still spots available, so if you're in the Durham Region, sign up!

* Kevin Smith was kicked off of an airplane for being too fat. Kate Harding has more over at Shapely Prose.

* Bitch Magazine posted their explanation of why it's not anti-feminist to use "douche bag" as an insult. And I love it--that's what I've been saying for ages.

* Speaking of douche bags, this NOT just in: John Mayer is one.

* A 12 yr old Saudi girl seeks divorce from her 80 yr old husband. I wish her luck.

* Clients from Hell - Designers post snippets of discussions with some horrible clients. It's funny 'cause it's true.

* Last year on the blog, I wrote about former TV crushes as an excuse to post pictures of hawt men. Once again, fictional boys FTW!

* I'm blonde again. It's easier to keep up than the red. This time it's dark blonde with light streaks (I have no pictures of the light streaks, though). Of course, I'm using a black and white pic 'cause all my fave evil ladies on Twitter have classy b/w pictures.

(look at that--I think I'm classy)

Beaker from The Muppets sings a ballad. Or tries. Beaker is my favourite.

And via friend Heather Petty...more Beaker!

Happy V-Day!

Sunday Post

I gotta get blogging more. I'm just really lazy and typically post links on Twitter to whatever I'm interested in, rather than do a proper blog post. But anyways, I'm going to try to do a round up post on Sundays of nifty, random stuff.

In Skyla News, I was on limited office hours this week due to really bad wrist pain, which flares up if I don't take enough breaks for several weeks. So...ouch. And in writing news, I've been suffering a whiny case of, "Writing is hard--waaaaah!" so I've pretty much kept to myself. I don't understand why staring blankly at the screen doesn't make words appear...

First up, publishing/writing stuff.

* A great piece on writers' expectations and publishing. I love this piece. It addresses the obsession with instant success stories (which I've talked a bit about before) and the whiny "Why do crappy books get published?" thing that everyone says. And it was summed up best by the awesome Julie Butcher: "So if we're hard-heads, we win?" Yep.

* Over at Deadline Dames, Jeaniene Frost talks about piracy. We all know my thoughts on the subject *cough* so I'll just say WORD to everything there.

* Lili's Friday writing post about the fear that characters will stop talking to you if you're happier and don't share their pain. And it's a fantastic post because I've had that fear for years. I'm viewing shitty life experiences now as "taking one for the team"--they've allowed me to go to a very dark place and transform those feelings and experiences into something cathartic for others. In short, I feel like my best books are the ones I write for fellow damaged people. So if I actively work on being happier and healthier, can I still write effectively for the damaged? I don't know. But it's worth a shot.

* I wrote on the MP blog about my author checklist. This is something I've heard a LOT of editors talk about--what type of writers do they want to work with...and who do they REALLY not want around? I came up with nine qualities I've encountered that make me twitchy. I also encourage writers to come up with their checklist for publishers. I think we all have to be clear about what our expectations are for one another to make the best match possible, because really, that's how a book is going to be successful--when both parties are on the same page. I expect someone's going to get bent out of shape over it but, you know, someone's gotta say these things.

* My friend J.A. Saare has a new book out. Go read, buy, and DON'T pirate it or she and I will kick your scummy pirate ass. ;-)

Feministy things.

* A sixteen year old girl was buried alive by her family for talking to boys. I can't even begin to tell you how much this upset me--I think I spent the better part of an hour on Friday just sitting here crying. If you're interested in learning more about honour killings and those fighting against the practice, visit the fine folks at the International Campaign Against Honour Killings. They're good people.

* Follow The Pixel Project on Twitter. Every night they tweet helplines from all over the world to DV shelters. Retweet the numbers and you could save a life.

Video stuff.

This is an oldie, but it's been this weekend's theme song. Defying Gravity, Firefly/Serenity style

And Gone with the Wind with Vampires.

Randomness.

* There's a fan group on Facebook for Mike "Other Asian" Chang on Glee! This makes me happy because he's really adorable. I think he needs a storyline of his own. Or at least a few more lines.

* Finally...here's Selleck Waterfalls Sandwich. Which wins the internet.

Is Nothing Sacred?

This was via Feministing:

A pink Ouija board for girls.

Seriously.

It comes with a pink carrying case and 72 question cards because I presume girls can't think up questions on their own. One of those gems? "Who will call/text me next?"Read more

Romance vs Love Stories

You know, I have some real problems with romance sometimes.

First, don't slap me. I don't look down on the genre (and romance writers make a killing, so I envy that), and I like some mushy stuff as much as the next person. But I'm coming at this as an acquiring editor who sees a LOT of romance novels.

What bothers be about romance is that a) too often I see shortcuts taken instead of development of a real love story, and b) there's a predictability immediately (when I say "romance" we all think "boy meets girl, they have obstacles, they live happily ever after).

Well, okay, and c) it almost always consists of white, heteronormative pairings that reinforce rigid gender stereotypes and that makes Skyla's head go BOOM! But that's another talk for another day.

There are fantastic romances out there, but doing acquisitions for our romance imprint, I see the same things over and over. They are Soul Mates so they will automatically fall in love and have their HEA, regardless of what their personalities are like. The have no lives, no desires, outside of their own relationship. Everyone's goal is a diamond ring at the end. I never doubt, even once, that the boy will get the girl and they'll live on and on with no struggles forever and ever. And they're all white straight people.

You know what? No.

Love is messy. Love is hard. Love happens between people unexpectedly. Love doesn't always lead to a happily ever after. At it's best, love can help you rise above things; at it's worse, it'll suck out your soul and make you a crazy person.

As a reader, and an acquiring editor, I don't want to read about flowers and candles and That Perfect Someone. I *want* that unpredictability as two strong personalities struggle to make room for one another. I don't want that security of knowing it'll all be okay, because, you know, I'm a grown-up and I *know* there's no HEA for people who don't work for it. I don't want to read lazy writing.

And as a writer...I can't write romance to save my life. If I could, I would, then add some hawt sex and make a bundle. But I always have a love story in my work because I'm a Libra and I have love on the brain. Romance, though? Nope.

And here's the review of one of my books that got me thinking about this:

"One thing is certain beyond any doubt: Wolfe is a stunningly good book. ...[snip]... What I was less certain of as I read, was whether Wolfe can be described as a romance. The story focuses primarily on River. She is not by any stretch of the imagination your average heroine, and though the plot revolves around her struggle to rejoin the were she had chosen as lifelong mate, her animal-like personality and pragmatic approach to life precludes the standard sex-obsessed main characters that tend to populate the hotter romances. Daryl, her chosen mate, is removed from River for the biggest part of the book.

However, I would implore all fans of romance to buy this book and read it, because while it is not your average romance novel, it is a story about love. Not just the happily-ever-after fairy tale kind, the real kind, the sort of love that takes two people and cements them together in relationships that are like lighthouses on rocky shores.

In a world where too often ‘romance’ is synonymous with ‘superficial’, Wolfe is a tale that runs deeper. It was only once I’d put the book down that I realised through the absorbing entertainment, frequent laughs, and thought-provoking emotional pieces, Skyla Dawn Cameron had gently led me as reader through a thorough study of a raw, real, committed love.

To have a reviewer that Gets It is a wonderful thing--to have a reviewer put it so eloquently and quotable is one in a million.

I write about werewolves and vampires and zombie romantic comedies and all kinds of silly things. But all that stuff is window dressing. Beneath it all, I'm trying to write about people and those Real Things we all go through. Like love. And I'd love more writers to get it through their heads that their job isn't to repeat genre tropes, it's to tell a meaningful story that feels real to the reader.

So I don't write romance. I write loves stories (amidst all the killing and violence and Damaged Main Characters [TM]). And some days, at least for some readers, I get it right. This is a Good Thing.

(Also, that picture is--obviously--not the Wolfe book cover...it's the promo poster I made featuring the two MC's.)

HNTBADBA 101 - Am I a Douche Bag?

Welcome to a new edition of HNTBADBA 101.

Yes folks, it's been quiet over the holidays. It's not that I haven't had anything to rant about, it's just that I've been too busy yelling at people to blog about why I'm yelling at people. But here's a question from a writer that I thought might fit.

Warning: this column will regularly feature lots of profanity. So Sensitive Speshul Snowflakes can go elsewhere.

It's Advice Column Friday! Read on.

Question du Jour...

Why do agents & editors twitch when authors refer to their novels as fiction? I've seen a few things on FB & Twitter about agents/editors getting their panties in a bunch when that shows up in a query.

Just wondering...

This might be a good question for your blog, too. I think a lot of newbie authors don't understand why it's taboo to call your ms an adult fiction novel.

You're right, it *is* a good question for the blog, which is why I used it for this column.

One thing every writer has to learn is not to be redundant. Say something once and don't repeat yourself unless its necessary for some other reason. So don't tell me about the vampire's twinkling sparkles. Just say he sparkles, 'cause twinkling isn't necessary.

Actually, don't say he sparkles either because vampires don't sparkle, people.

"Fiction novel" is redundant. With very, very few exceptions (and I can't even think of one but never say never), if you say that you're querying/submitting a novel, we're going to assume it's fiction. And "fiction" isn't a genre, so you shouldn't use it as an adjective for novel. Urban fantasy? Futuristic romance? Comedic horror? Those are all genres. We don't typically consider "fiction" to be a genre, and tacking it on to describe your novel inducing eye-rolling from agents and editors.

Please note that it does NOT make you a douche bag. No one is going to reject you based on using "fiction novel" in a query (well, I might if it otherwise lacked sparkle and my slush pile was sitting in the hundreds). But it's the first red flag that you're an amateur, and that's not an impression you want to leave with an editor or agent.

And as for why we get twitchy over it...just imagine our slush piles for a moment. Now imagine that every three cover letters, we see that "fiction novel" mistake. When those things happen over and over, we get whiny, and since Twitter is RIGHT THERE for when we want to ZOMGWHINE&BITCHABOUTAUTHORS, all you lovely kids get to see us twitch.

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Have a question you want to ask? Drop a line to notadouchebag@skyladawncameron.com Read Da Rules here.

Disclaimer! The opinions expressed herein are those of the person who wrote them and in no way represent any company anywhere on the planet. If you don't like it, and can't take this kind of humour, kindly walk away and don't be a fucktard.

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